The Kind that Haunts Carefully: Shaina Phenix

April 14, 2020 Kate Belew with Shaina Phenix (Christiansburg, VA)

& yes, I’ve said it many times—I am alive

as a barrel of rattlesnakes. & want 

to eat everything to ever love me alive

and writhing. & no, I won't say again - 

the breadth of the moon is alive in my glass

a ghost even, the kind that haunts carefully 

unearths a self I hide from as if it were buried alive 

after years of what we can call breaking 

I am no mendable body, just scattered bits alive

but how I breathe like I mean it & 

how I mean it like wind howling & alive 

& yes, I've said it many times--What else can 

I be here, mouthless & alive?